As I’ve gotten older, I sometimes ruminate on what I could have been or done instead of what I have been or done. My husband thinks I ruminate on this too often, but don’t get me wrong, it’s not out of regret because I don’t think I’d do anything any differently.
When I was young, women (and men for that matter), had different choices than those young people coming up today. Men were pretty much expected to be the so-called bread winner, and women could get married and have children, be a teach or be a nurse (with or without much college). Wealthy girls were sent to “finishing school” and could go to a prestigious college, with the desired outcome being to meet and marry a successful and connected young man.
Wow, have thing changed! For the better in many ways, but now young people have so many choices that I wonder if they get overwhelmed. They can be a television or online personality, a dancer, a chef, or anything else that they want to be as long as they work at it.
At different ages and times in my life, I thought I might want to be (in another life) a model or airline stewardess (eye roll) for the glamour; a fashion designer (another eye roll), a Veterinarian, a lawyer, a pharmacist (the chemistry classes would’ve stopped me), and a psychiatrist (to figure out my own issues without actually going to a psychiatrist). Being a writer always figured into these potential pursuits, because when I became a lawyer, I could write lawyer thrillers. Ditto being a psychiatrist.
I had a career that paid the bills and put kids through college (with my husband’s extreme help) and helped launch my husband’s business. I left my corporate job (not my dream job) with a pension & for which paid for my Master’s Degree. Now, I have time to do more bucket-list things, more travel, more writing, more help for the children and grands.
In the end, I think my life has gone the way it was supposed to. My most special achievements have been my children and grandchildren, finding real love in someone who loves and respects me and shares my values, and pursuing what I’ve always had in the back of my mind as a to-do: writing.
I think I’ve become the person I was supposed to become. I’m happy.